Writers' School »

Writers’ School is English writing supported by i-osmosis. We are looking for English writers to contribute to “Writers’ School.”  All essays will appear on this blog, i-osmosis English Community. What’s more, selected essays are given highlights and tips by an i-osmosis instructor, William!!!!

Avatar

 “A mixed success” would be just the phrase to describe James Cameroon’s latest movie, “Avatar.” As a work of visual entertainment, it is a soaring success –　sensational and utterly transporting, this movie is one that transcends the expectations of audience to give them one thrilling experience. As a work of cinematic literature, however, it is somewhat lacking in content, in matters concerning both the plot and the script.

“Avatar” is a show that is sure to capture audiences in awe. The visual effects in “Avatar” are like nothing ever seen before; each scene has its own must-see visual techniques, and the stunning special effects makes it seems as though the audience is living the excitement and thrill. If anything, “Avatar” is one very good example of excellent storytelling, going beyond the limits of our world to engage the audience in this exhilarating adventure.

However, all the special effects could not fully cover up for its one prominent defect; its weak storyline. The plot of Avatar is a story already told numerous times, one that it clichéd, simple and unoriginal. In the movie, the people have already destroyed and devastated the nature in their own planet Earth, and, oblivious to the lesson, are on the verge of doing the same with the planet Pandora.  A bland storyline can be to some extent be rescued by a potent script; however, the script was prosaic and did not make the film any better – or worse, to give it credit – to any extent.

That is not to deprive the movie of the accolade it deserves; story is extremely well told and expressed. A positive aspect of the clichéd storyline would be that it has a direct and unmistakable message. It casts light upon our – human – mentality of taking over nature or indigenous civilization and culture with brute force and limited scope of our actions and consequences. The movie, although through a prosaic plotline, spotlights the flaws of our modern ways of life and thinking by showing to us our shallow understanding of the significance of nature and life as a whole. “Avatar” reiterates a lesson that we must always keep in mind – that humans have a terrible history of wars, colonialism and destruction of our natural environment. It may that the moviemakers had to keep the storyline simple for people to receive the strong message and at the same time enjoy the visual sensation of the film.

In a phrase, “Avatar” can be said to be a movie that is typically Hollywood sci-fi; lots of bing, bang and boom but lacking in content. For people looking for a plot with a profound message, “Avatar” may be a slight disappointment. However, this movie will be sure to keep any viewer on the edge of his seat with excitement and thrill. My applause goes to the moviemakers’ technical skills in creating the visual sensation that only movies can create.

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Today’s Highlights and Tips by i-osmosis instructor William.

Highlight
The first line of your conclusion is a great example of using different kinds of words and ideas to describe something. Referring to the “bing, bam, boom” is not something we typically think of describing a science fiction movie – “bing, bam, and boom” is something we usually think will describe sounds. But using the short words – all beginning with the letter “B” for effect – really helps end the essay with a nice touch.

Tip:
Phrases like “sure to capture audiences in awe,” “living the excitement and thrill,” and “going beyond the limits of our world to engage the audience in this exhilarating adventure” are very general, and don’t really show the reader anything about the movie. Using specifics from the movie – or describing how you felt when watching a particular scene – will help the reader understand your point and will go beyond adjectives. Can you describe a specific scene? A particular plant, animal, or screen-shot that illustrates the “visual effects?” Descriptive words are sometimes not enough to emphasize your point – details are what makes creative writing effective.

Tip:
Without examples, the reader will simply be left with general statements (statements that use a broad vocabulary and are well-written, but that are too general to make their own conclusions). In movie reviews, move away from telling the reader what to think based on adjectives – and use details that will prove to them your opinion is valid.

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Nanami Kawashima
Hello, my name is Nanami. I am a huge　fan of Oscar Wildeand especially love reading his plays. I spent seven years ofmy elementary schooling in Chicago, and presently live in Nara.

Writers’ School

 We will announce three topics every month!Please take part in this Writers’ School to enjoy English Writing with us!!Please send your essay (including its title), name, and mail address to blog@i-osmosis.com.